


That's Where He'd Be

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Funeral, Gen, Reader-Insert, Singing, Stephen's Funeral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-06 00:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11589354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	That's Where He'd Be

“No!” Monica screamed, throwing an antique vase across the room and watching as it smashed into a million pieces against the wall. “No! No! No!” As a piece of the vase hit her leg, she spun around, her hands combing through her hair as the tears streamed down her face in waves. Through thick streams, she saw Maya and Eli run into the room to see what was wrong. 

Today was the funeral. Upon hearing the news, they’d all nearly collapsed and burst into tears. Then came the numbness as the funeral was being planned, and this morning, as Monica pulled a mourning veil over her eyes, it hit her all over again, causing the crash that brought the kids to her attention. “Mom?” Maya asked, her voice cracking as Monica reached out for her daughter. In a split second, Maya also dissolved into tears and Eli followed closely behind, always told by his father to never be afraid to show emotion. 

“It’s not fair, Mom,” Maya cried. She wanted to tell Maya and Eli that everything was going to be okay - and it would be - but right now she wanted to wallow; she wanted to curse the world for taking her husband away. “Why?”

Monica didn’t know how to console her. As a mother, you were assumed to know all the answers, and she just didn’t have them. “I don’t know, baby. I don’t know.”

—-

“I know you didn’t know him that well,” Spencer said to you as you flattened out your black dress at the grave of his co-worker. “But thank you for doing this. I think his wife and kids will appreciate it.” The minute he’d asked, you said yes, calling up your old friends and asking them to resurrect your little group for a friend’s funeral. 

As you composed yourself, you saw Emily off near a tree, unable to make eye contact with anyone, especially not in the direction of Stephen’s family who were on their way toward his grave. “I’ll be right back,” you said to Spencer and the rest of the team. Since you started seeing Spencer, you’d become very close with Emily and saw how hard it was hitting her. “I’m just gonna go talk to Emily.”

She only looked up when you approached, quickly glancing back down, her eyes filled with guilt. “How are you?” You asked softly. You reached your hand out for hers and she grabbed it limply, still not looking at you. 

“It’s my fault,” she said quietly.

“What?” She couldn’t have said what you think she just said.

“It’s my fault, Y/N,” she said. A short intake of air let loose all of the emotions she was holding back. “I told him he owed me one. That’s why he came to help us. And now he’s dead. It’s my fault.” 

Emily collapsed into your arms, so you rubbed her back. “Em, it’s not your fault. He could’ve said no, but he didn’t. Because he was a good man. This isn’t your fault. It’s Scratch’s fault. And you’re gonna get him.” For a few moments, she sobbed into your shoulder, holding on tight in an attempt to steady herself. You pulled away and wiped her tears away before giving her a comforting smile and leading her back toward the casket.

When Monica, Maya and Eli walked up toward the grave, they stared into oblivion as the priest started up the service and Stephen was lowered into the ground. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the life and mourn the passing of our dear friend, Stephen,” the priest started. He continued, the words flowing out of his mouth as if he’d said them thousands of times before; he had, but at least it didn’t sound like it. His warm and personable voice reminded everyone of Stephen. “And now Stephen’s teammates wanted to do a little something special for Stephen and his family.” He waved you up, and you returned the favor with your friends. They followed up closely behind you until you were all standing in front of where his tombstone would be placed.

“Please accept our condolences,” you said directly to Monica. “This is for your family.” Quietly, you started to sing.

\---  
Well I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the Lord  
But you don’t really care for music, do you?  
Well it goes like this: the fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Your faith was strong but you needed proof  
You saw her bathing on the roof  
Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you  
She tied you to her kitchen chair  
She broke your throne and she cut your hair  
And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah  
\---

Although you hadn’t sung together in a while, your five voices still fit together perfectly. Monica had been taken off guard, dissolving into a puddle of tears and whispering continuous thank yous in your direction as well as the team’s. Spencer’s lips upturned into the smallest of smiles, both proud of you and grateful for the gift you were giving Stephen’s family. As you continued on, you turned your head up toward the heavens, knowing if heaven did exist, that’s where he’d be.

\---  
Baby I’ve been here before  
I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor (you know)  
I used to live alone before I knew you  
And I’ve seen your flag on the marble arch  
And love is not a victory march  
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

There was a time when you let me know  
What’s really going on below  
But now you never show that to me, do you?  
But remember when I moved in you  
And the holy dove was moving too  
And every breath we drew was Hallelujah  
\---

With a deep breath, you steadied your own voice. Granted you didn’t know Stephen that well, but you were overcome with emotion as his wife and two teenaged children watched their husband and father get lowered into the ground more and more. He was too young to die; his wife had already sacrificed so much for the sake of his job, and the children especially didn’t deserve to have their father taken from them at such a young age. None of it was fair, so you kept singing in an attempt to heal even a bit of their pain. 

\---  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah

Maybe there’s a God above  
All I’ve ever learned from love  
Was how to shoot somebody who outdrew you  
And it’s not a cry that you hear at night  
It’s not somebody who’s seen the light  
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
\---

As your collective voice trailed off, you approached Monica, barely able to see each other through her tears and your own. “I’m so sorry for your loss,” you said, giving small hugs to both of the children as well. “I hope you know he’s never far from you.”

“Thank you so much,” Monica said, her smile evident that strained and painful. “I can’t thank you enough for that.” She motioned her head towards where you were standing and singing just moments earlier. “That was Stephen’s favorite song.”

“The team told me, and it was no problem at all. If there’s anything I can ever do for you, please don’t hesitate to let me know,” you said, turning back toward Spencer and the team. 

“Y/N?” Maya asked as you turned away. Quickly, you spun back around and looked inquisitively at the young girl. “Do you have a recording of your group singing that?”

You nodded softly remembering the couple hundred CDs you’d had made for the purposes of handing them out to those that needed their spirits uplifted most. “I do,” you replied. “I’ll give it to Spencer to bring over after work one day this week.”

All three of them smiled softly as you walked away and back into Spencer’s arms. “Thank you again,” he said. “That was beautiful and I know Stephen would’ve appreciated it.”


End file.
